My 10-year-old son came home from baseball practice a few weeks ago and told me, "Mom, baseball is getting harder and it's stressing me out."
I know I am not the only parent or coach to ever hear something like this, and if you tend to (over)analyze things like I do at times, it can really make you question yourself, and how you are managing your kids' training or even participation in baseball.
Balancing a lot can be difficult, but it's doable and often ideal
I immediately did a mental rewind of everything that had happened that week, and remembered all the fun my son had with his friends, the video games he had played, the one flag football practice, school, and yes, the few hours of baseball. Point being, he didn't seem especially stressed by baseball in and of itself. So, I asked him why he thought he felt stressed and he told me that with school really getting underway, he felt he wasn't having enough time to do his homework. This is the point at which I reminded him of all the other activities that were taking up his time. And then...
HE SUGGESTED HIMSELF that maybe he should limit his video games to weekends only, so no video games at all on school days/nights. That way he could get his homework done, which would alleviate his stress or anxiety that he felt baseball was contributing to.
Extreme overscheduling aside, research shows that kids can thrive with active days full of school and sports or other activities. The variation and staying busy are both good things. If kids say they feel like a certain activity is just too much, there is often more to the story.
And this is why I continued to ask my son what he meant by baseball being "harder" in addition to the stress he was feeling around managing his time. I felt like there was still something more going on with him. He went on to tell me that more was being expected of him at practice, and he wasn’t improving as much as he wanted to, considering the work he had put in.
As you improve as an athlete, the same amount of effort yields smaller noticeable returns.
When you get to a certain point in your training, doing the same drills and practices you have always done will not keep you on top/improving. You are not learning new skills at the same rate you always were up to this point. You are now mostly refining or improving current skills and the degrees of improvement are smaller and smaller as you get better and better. This can be frustrating for a kid who has literally increased their performance by 100% year over year since they started playing.
So, I told my son that he has improved so much that he just isn't going to hit it twice as far each year anymore. If that was possible, he would be in the major leagues by middle school! You will hit it 30% farther. Then 10%. Then 5%. The gains just aren't as dramatically noticeable. Accepting this can be tough mentally. But if you can measure the improvement and track your performance, it can be a huge motivator. To help my son realize this, I pointed out several objective things he can look back on, like his bat speed or time to contact on his Blast Motion report, his increase in extra base hits, and even his starting spot on the team.
Listen to your kids
By having this little talk, my son walked away with some reassurance that even though he has a lot going on and baseball is getting "harder", he has the skill, confidence and support to succeed.
Listening matters.
Yes, you are the adult and yes you are paying for everything, and yes you can see the bigger picture. But please listen to your kids. They themselves often know what needs to change (it's just that they don't like what that change requires sometimes!)
Get a feel for when they need a little push, or when they truly need a break. Understand that they are little people that need to be cultivated, supported and nurtured to do their best, in baseball and in life. Help them come to conclusions on their own, and experience natural consequences. This is much easier said than done, but even with some small wins here and there, it will set them up to be self-motivated, use the tools they have, and not always needing to rely on you to keep them in check.
Comments